Get a Puppy

If you want unconditional love, get a puppy; work and personal relationships are very much conditional.

We behave as if we’re owed unconditional approval at work, in leadership, in friendships, in romance, and even in families. Relationships are about reciprocity, so expecting praise without performance, loyalty without loyalty, and support without standards is absurd.

Instead of seeking commiseration, seek improvement. Look for mutual value, clear expectations, mutual trust (you don’t have to like each other at work at that is), earned respect, and equity in the relationship. The best boss I ever worked for provided clear and demanding expectations, refused to commiserate, helped you improve, and expected you to add real value to the organization.

You’re not entitled to unconditional acceptance at work; you’re obligated to create undeniable value.

Challenge:

This week, take one key relationship—at work or at home—and ask yourself: “Where am I expecting unconditional support instead of offering unmistakable contribution?” Then change one behavior to rebalance that equation.

Categorized in: General