Will the Real Narcissist Please Stand Up?

The real narcissists among us are those whose self-concept is fractured. Their ego (literally translated “I”) is only satiated by projecting their vitriol on those whose success triggers their insecurities. Their ego, their identity, is built on tearing others down for their lack of success.

It’s the classic narcissistic defense of grandiosity.

The narcissists among us point fingers and place blame. They weaponize gossip around the water cooler, whispering and pointing fingers. It’s not dramatic but rather just familiar enough to avoid detection.

They expose “toxicity” because it satiates their ego, but enough is never enough. No matter how much they attack others, their lack of self-confidence, self-esteem, and self-worth never improves.

It’s called narcissistic self-idealization.

In contrast, the truly successful are not obsessed with tearing others down; they move on. And this is precisely what triggers the real narcissists among us.

The real narcissists use social media to project at scale. It’s a mock campaign to defend the defenseless when, in truth, they seek to alleviate the suffering of their private envy, with outward claims of public virtue.

The real narcissists are not the visibly confident or booming. They are the ones who cannot tolerate being confronted by someone else’s competence—and respond by projecting blame outward.

This is not counterintuitive once you understand narcissism as defensive self-absorption, not confidence.

Categorized in: General